Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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