What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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