I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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