I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My day in three words: secret purse cake
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
