My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Farmville is her only friend.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Terrible idea I love it
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
