Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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