did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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