Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
