return my video game
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
