a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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