is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
