Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
