question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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