i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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