we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I didn't notice because vodka
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
