I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
