i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
