He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
