Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
