Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
