No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
They are going to name an STD after you.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
