Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I cut my penus on the lid.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
