Soap is not a condiment
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Someone shattered a urinal.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
