I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
