Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
