I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
