Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
