Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Enjoy the penises
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
