hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
