Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
