His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
