He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
