He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
