We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
