i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
