My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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