my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Buhtt sex?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
