I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
