Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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