So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
