Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
