How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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