Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
