I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
