Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
