I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
