I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
COCAINE IS GR8
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
