pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im six kinds of drunk right now
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
