her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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