i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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