your room smells of hookers.
And success
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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