STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
